Hey friend,
I have a newsflash for you: it’s ok to change your mind.
Now, in case you fell off your chair after reading that, let me give you a moment to collect yourself and I’ll say it again… it is ok to change your mind.
My kids love their birthdays. Each year their birthday ends and the very next day they start planning the next party. This will pop up throughout the year. Every time Emma discovers something new she loves, she amends her birthday plans. So far this year we’ve gone from unicorn theme to Cinderella to Wicked (she’s never even seen it), and now we’ve settled on Gabby’s Dollhouse. But there are five more months to go, so we could easily end up with dinosaurs.
I’m not shocked or confused by this. And I’m definitely not starting to plan her party until about a week before. I’m not annoyed that her interests have changed and developed. She can change her mind, and that is just fine with me.
But I think as moms, we can treat almost every decision like a forever decision. This is the school my kids will attend until college. This is the house I will live in until I die. This is the haircut and the outfit they will bury me in.
I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing. I think God calls us to be wise and discerning, not flippantly making decisions like how I chose what college to attend (I can ski and don’t have to write an essay for admission? Done). But even then (best school ever), He continues to direct our path.
It just feels more weighty as a mom. These decisions don’t only affect us anymore- they affect our kids. We don’t want to move them from one school to another as often as they rotate clothes. But in trying to avoid change, I can become stuck. Paralyzed by overanalysis.
I get so overwhelmed by this. Caught in the tornado of “what ifs” that leave me without peace and ultimately frozen. So aware of my lack of control, and yet still holding tightly to my hopes and plans for my children. What I forget is that I was never in control in the first place.
Proverbs 16:9 says,
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 20:24 reads,
“A person’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way?”
And I love Proverbs 21:30:
“There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.”
Thanks, Proverbs.
The Lord’s plans will succeed. No matter how much I plot and scheme and try to map out the perfect path. Regardless of the parenting scripts I try to follow or the experiences I try to curate. I will never out-plan God. Which sounds completely obvious when I say it out loud, but is clearly what I am trying to do.
So back to the beginning… it’s ok to change your mind, because God has not changed His.