Hey Friend,
We have this children’s book that my girls love called, ABC for Me: ABC What Can She Be? It goes through the alphabet and lists all the occupations that a girl can have. Astronaut, Botanist, Hairstylist, Gymnast, and you get the gist. It is adorable and every time we read it, I find myself wishing that M was for Mom (Spoiler alert: M is for Mechanic... which is also cool, I guess).
When you are little, I am sure that at some point you were asked the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" On Emma's back-to-school sign this year, she had about 5 different professions that we narrowed down to Kind Queen (what?), Zookeeper and Farmer. Pretty sure Cooper wanted to be a Farmer too which is shocking since last time we visited a farm, they were all terrified of the animals. Could you imagine writing "Mom" on that back-to-school sign? That response would likely be met with, “That’s nice dear, but what else?”
Motherhood is a wild ride. You spend your waking (and sleeping) hours trying to keep a tiny human alive, but feel the need to apologetically share that you are "just" a mom. We can diminish our role into a temporary purgatory until the kids start school and you can “find yourself” again or it’s elevated to deity status in the quest for us to prove that motherhood is the only route to find deep meaning and purpose. Oh how the pendulum swings.
We have this subconscious grading system in our brains that adds up points and measures us based on how many kids we have, if we have a side hustle, how our kids are schooled, the cleanliness of our home, the intensity of our jobs and the list goes on. The problem is, everyone is using a different measuring stick and odds are you’ll be ahead or behind depending on how well your kids slept last night.
Motherhood is beautiful, and it matters deeply. And it was never meant to carry the full weight of who we are. Neither was <insert your career here>. Kids grow, jobs change, relationships shift, all of it temporary. None of it will last forever.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8).
God was here before it all began, He is present with us now, and He will continue forever. He is the only one worth placing our identity in because we can trust that in Him, it will not fade.
What would it look like for us to remember this? Instead of getting lost in the swirling voices that try to define and dissect and diagnose, we remember that God has already defined us. His words are fully capable of dissecting the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts (Hebrews 4:12). He created us, He knows what we need and He provides it over and over again (Matthew 6:25-34).
I’m not sure where you are at right now. Sometimes I feel like I am barely making it through the day and then my daughter will tell me she loves me and I am the BEST MOM EVER! You might find yourself waffling between two extremes over the course of a day. Or an hour. But here's what I hope I can remember (and that you will too). Neither one defines you. God does.